The Power of Paying Attention – Steve’s Grocery Store Screw-Up Just to Write This Blog

Last week, I was sent to the grocery store.  My partner is the cook in our relationship, and he directed me to get peeled tomatoes for a recipe.  I dutifully drove to the Harris Teeter and found them in aisle five.  Ah, success!  But then dread and dark clouds hovered over.  Did he want the tomatoes with basil?  The ones with oregano and garlic?  Plain?  The ones already chopped or whole?  Did he want the Hunts or Contadina brand, or could I buy the less expensive Harris Teeter brand, which was on sale?

So many decisions.  I froze in fear of choosing incorrectly, as I have often done, arriving home and again getting “the look” that “you got the wrong ones.”  So, I did the smart thing and FaceTimed him for the right answers.  I didn’t feel so bad because when I was heading to the checkout, another guy was holding his phone up to a Teeter employee and said, “My wife wants me to buy these.  Can you bring me to them.”  Ah, another spouse anticipating that he’ll get the wrong thing, too.

I have a disease called Permanent Content Brain.  The phrase was coined by podcaster Pablo Torre who admits, as do I, that everything I see I wonder how it can be content on a show.  I am reminded of talent who go about their lives and never see the power of this kinda stuff to help them be relatable or use it to create fun stories the audience identifies with.  So many say “nothing happened to me yesterday” yet when I dig deep and get inquisitive, so much content appears.  They didn’t see it because they weren’t paying attention.

So, I wonder how we get more of these shared experiences on a show to connect with fans.  Here are a few things to consider:

  • Stop looking for a story and notice the friction in everything you do. It wasn’t about my going to the grocery store as much as it was about fearing “the look” and bold move to FaceTime so it wasn’t another Epic Steve Fail®.  Where you get uncomfortable, irritated, or feel awkward is the story.  Great radio doesn’t come from what happened, it comes from what felt off.
  • Pick a side and use bold language. Mushy middle breaks or ones that express all points-of-view die quickly.  Fake opinion for neutrality is death, too.  Great radio lives on the margins.  Hate/love are much better than like.  Powerful verbiage activates listeners.  Examples: “self-checkout is a scam,” or “if you’re paying for groceries with a check, you must be over 80,” or “the cart return thing is really a character test some people fail.”  It’s near impossible for a listener to not have an emotional reaction to any of those frames.  Using language like this includes the audience from the start.
  • Get to it with a powerful hook at the start. “I had to FaceTime my partner from the canned tomato aisle, so I didn’t come home feeling like an idiot again” is a great way to make listeners lean in to hear the story.
  • You must pivot from it being about you to being about the audience. Do that and you’ll get similar content from them which will be entertaining for all to hear.  Actively think of this line, “Is it just me or…” and you might have a content break.  The mistake many make is that it’s just about them – make it about the audience and the connection forms as stories from everyone appear.
  • When asking the audience to advance your content with their stories, never ask “what do you think” or “has this happened to you”. Be specific: “your spouse sent you to the grocery store and you were once again a disappointment in the task – tell us what happened.”  Specific questions get better calls and listener engagement.  Never ask yes/no or agree/disagree questions.  If your reply to them is “why” or “tell us more” you’ll go on a fishing expedition for their content and get little.  Be specific and they’ll have stories with lots of details.

If you can do everyday things like go to the grocery store and pay attention to see the friction, get an opinion, and look for relatability, you’re guaranteed to leave with content.

The next time you go somewhere, don’t rush or do it mindlessly.  Pay attention and note three things that annoy you, give you judgment on something, force an opinion, or make you experience an emotion yourself.  One of them might be content the next day.

Then you’ll never say again that “nothing happened today”.

You must notice everything to develop Permanent Content Brain.  A great disease to have if you are a content creator.  I put together a checklist to train your brain to get there.  Grab it here if you think it’ll help.

Gregg, Freddy, and Danielle, MIX 104.1, Boston with Grams Jams

When you have a prize, you can do one of two things.  Take the easy (and lazy) way out by asking for caller ten.  Or you can create a fun idea that gets both a winner and (most importantly) earns you important perceptual images with the 98% of those tuning in who won’t call for a contest, but need their win, too.  And that’s a play-along game they can have fun hearing.  Gregg, Freddy, and Danielle, MIX 104.1, Boston’s afternoon show work hard at this, knowing that caller ten contests are meaningless chatter-that-doesn’t-matter to the vast majority of those who come for great content, a human connection, and to have a good time.  So, they developed a fun game called Gram’s Jams where Danielle’s grandmother reads a lyric of a song they play.  The correct caller gets the prize then they play Gram reading her lyrics over that part of the song.  A win not just for contest players, but for everyone else, too.

Bad Bunny Does the Assisted Living Facility

Have you ever seen those YouTube videos where kids are listening to Led Zeppelin or the Carpenters for the first time?  You get to see their physical reactions and the comments sometimes are very funny.  With him performing at the Super Bowl halftime show, why don’t you get to an assisted living facility and do that with Bad Bunny’s music?  Great audio for the show and video for social media.

Zach and George, The Anderson Journal, WHBU-FM, Anderson, IN with George is a Lousy Driver

If you’re in a moment with high emotion, grab that phone and get audio of it.  That audio will aid you in telling the story on-the-air in a way that simply recounting it won’t.  Case-in-point is what was done by Zach Johnson and George Bremer, The Anderson Journal, WHBU-FM, Anderson, IN.  George is flawed as he’s a lousy driver.  The team was out on a remote.  Driving back to the station, Zach and the promotions/video team started to rib George about all his driving mishaps.  It was very disarming and exceptionally funny.  Which is why, instead of just re-living things on the next show, Zach got audio of the post-trip conversation in real time from the group.  Listen to all the emotion and laughter in this exchange and hear how much differently the break was because of it.  Always think:  is there an oppotrunity to get audio here because it wil make the break on our next show when we tell it better?

The Super Bowl Showdown

The Super Bowl is less than one month away.  If you’re looking for a week-long, big thing to do around the topic, do the Super Bowl Showdown.  Each cast member must learn how to kick a 10-yard field goal at a high school stadium.  Find local coaches as mentors for each cast member.  Then on Thursday of that week, go do it.  Post your videos on social and let the audience vote for who did it best, with the results on the Friday show.

Friction Hooks Fans – A Better Way to Build Character Connections (Heated Rivalry Edition)

You’ll come for the sex; you’ll stay for the story.

Heated Rivalry is the “it” show now – lots of buzz.  It’s on everyone’s timeline and seemingly inescapable in conversation.  Why is it resonating and what’s to learn from that?

Heated Rivalry does the one thing at its core every show must do to shift people from being listeners to becoming fans:  they make us care about the characters.  Think of any show or movie that moved you – that connected with you that you still rave about – and note that the screenwriter and story made you care about the people in it.  Think of who you hang with in your personal life; those you know and those you care about.  You must do the same with your show to create that loyalty with listeners.

Heated Rivalry works because conflict is the engine.  The characters are rich and deep and human and flawed and very different from each other.  That contrast creates a powerful storyline.

Here’s proof that conflict is the oxygen of storytelling.  Heated Rivalry doesn’t succeed because everything goes right. It succeeds because almost nothing does.  The story draws us in because there’s lots of drama.  If your story is boring, it’s because drama doesn’t exist.

At its core, Heated Rivalry is built on opposition. Two very different elite competitors locked in a long-term clash where winning isn’t just about the scoreboard.  It’s about pride, identity, ego, and the quiet fear of being seen as less than the other.  That tension never fully resolves, and that’s the point. Resolution ends the story.  Friction keeps it breathing.

The show’s most effective tension point is the collision between public personas and private truth. On the surface, these characters are confident, dominant, and unyielding. Underneath, they’re insecure, guarded, and hungry for validation and connection. One is Russian, the other Canadian – and the stereotypes that come with each.  Every scene’s bravado cracks just a little which pulls us closer to the characters and storyline. We recognize that feeling because we live there, too.

Another smart pressure point is proximity without permission. The characters are forced together by circumstance. Same arenas. Same headlines. Same orbit. They don’t choose connection; it keeps choosing them. That creates emotional whiplash: attraction colliding with resentment, admiration tangled with jealousy. Viewers aren’t watching to see if something will happen, but how long they can resist it and what it will cost them when they stop.

Sometimes the tension is big – Shane’s been texting Ilya for six months and been ghosted.  The anger and hurt feelings are both relatable and palatable.  And sometimes it’s small – Shane introduces himself to Ilya at the top of episode one.  They’re two premiere athletes and one of them is secretly smoking cigarettes.

Emotionally, the show plays a rich chord progression.  Competition lights the spark, anger sharpens it, vulnerability deepens it, and fear threatens to extinguish it.

We care because the stakes are high – we root for Ilya and Shane because we want people to root for us. That’s why vulnerability is so powerful in life and radio – we want the audience to care and root for us, too – and they want to know that we care for and root for them.  You must do that with your content to win.  Because if your content is friction free – if it has no drama – you ain’t got nothing.

Heated Rivalry understands something many shows miss:  likability is optional, but emotional honesty is not. The characters are often difficult. They make selfish choices. They hurt each other. Yet the show earns our loyalty by letting us see why.  We’re not asked to excuse their behavior, only to understand it.

Conflict creates curiosity.  Tension creates attachment.  Emotion creates memory.

That’s the lesson Heated Rivalry teaches. Storylines don’t become compelling by smoothing edges. They become compelling by pressing on them and refusing to let go.

And that’s what keeps us watching.

The success of Heated Rivalry should teach us lessons.  What should be our takeaways if we believe in the power of radio talent to make a difference?

Radio talent often believe the goal is to be agreeable, upbeat, and without friction – liked by all.  But the show proves the opposite.  Audiences don’t bond with perfection.  They bond with flaws and pressure.

Lesson One: Find the Tension in Everything and Let It Breathe

In Heated Rivalry, the characters don’t rush to tidy conclusions. They sit in discomfort. They argue. They hesitate. They contradict themselves. That’s what makes them human.

For radio, this means that the messy wins.  Try to position yourself as perfect or unflawed and you’ll lose.  My friend Lori Lewis says, “unpolished is the new polished.”  She’s right.  If you’re wrestling with a decision, a frustration, or a change, let the audience hear the wrestle. Unfinished emotions create forward motion. Forward motion keeps people listening.  No tension/conflict/drama/friction = no memorable story.

Lesson Two: Stakes Make Stories Sticky

Every conflict in the show costs something. Reputation. Identity. Trust. That’s why it matters.

On the air, stories without stakes sound like anecdotes. Stories with stakes sound like life. When you tell a story, ask yourself: What did I risk? What could I lose? What changed because of this? If nothing was on the line, the audience won’t lean in.

Lesson Three: Vulnerability Beats Likability

The leads in Heated Rivalry aren’t always likable, but they are emotionally honest. That’s the trade.

Radio personalities often chase approval when they should chase truth. Saying “I didn’t handle that well” or “I’m not proud of this reaction” or “I don’t understand that” builds more trust than trying to sound polished. Vulnerability is the shortcut to credibility.

Lesson Four: Conflict Doesn’t Mean Chaos or Arguing

The show’s tension is controlled. Purposeful. Directed.

On the air, conflict doesn’t mean yelling or controversy for its own sake. It means contrast. Opinions that collide. Expectations that aren’t met. Internal debates spoken out loud. That kind of friction creates texture without alienation.

Heated Rivalry reminds us that connection isn’t built by being smooth. It’s built by being real under pressure.

If you want listeners to care about you, let them hear what you care about enough to struggle with.  That’s where the bond forms.

Ilya, Shane, Scott, and Kip’s characters are grounded in tenderness, struggle, and betrayal and you want what’s best for them, because you want what’s best for you.  So does the audience.  So connect there.

By all means enjoy the steamy sex in the first few episodes of Heated Rivlary.  That’s the show’s hook.  But at the end of episode six, know that you stayed for much different reasons.  Then see what you learn from that to deepen and grow the bond you have with your fans by how you do your content.

Karen, Johnny, and Anthony, WNEW-FM, New York with Maury Povich and the Baby Announcement

Coaching a new show this past week, they asked an important question:  how do we become our listeners Netflix?  When I probed what they meant, they told me they want to be top-of-mind when people wake up, much like many of us default, when wanting content on TV, to wonder what’s on Netflix.  It’s a fair ask.  My answer was Netflix has generated so much unique content that they occupy space in our heads for top shelf shows that must be watched.  What does that mean for you?  Once you identify the right topics for your show, focus much of your attention and creativity on what you will do with the topic that will create an experience for those listening where you accrue those images, too.  Intern Anthony and his wife are having a baby.  This is good character development content.  Now the question is how does Karen Carson in the Morning, WNEW-FM, New York City do the gender reveal to the audience so it’s talked about and remembered?  Well, they invite Maury Povich on to do the deed.

Finding the Experts

An easy way to broaden contributors to your show is to ask the audience to call and tell you what they’re an expert in.  Compile the list and gather their contact information.  Then if a news story appears where one of your experts can add to the content or you find an especially quirky person you can build a feature around, you have more people adding to your show.

Chris and Dina, WMAS-FM, Springfield with The Bowl of Confessions

Character development comes in many forms.  When you share a story of something going on in your life, when you’re honest about your take on whatever topic you’re engaging on, and when you are completely vulnerable with the audience.  Strategic character development is the primary instigator of the connection you must form with the audience to build that relationship which leads to loyal listening.  “I feel like I know them,” is a powerful statement any listener can make which proves the connection is happening.  Here’s a unique character development bit as done by Chris and Dina, WMAS-FM, Springfield, MA called the Bowl of Confessions.  They brought into the studio a co-worker who pulled a slip of paper out of a bowl, which contains a statement he had or decide if it was true or a false.  All of it leading to me learning about Chris or Dina.  Listen as the chemistry drives the fun.

Keeping Them Honest!

January means resolutions which means many listeners are waking up early to go to the gym.  Find a few and be their 6am phone call to make sure they’re up and on the road to work out!  It’ll be very funny if they stop answering or you get their voicemail!