I Learned How to Do Radio From Pat Sajak and Porn

Later this evening, watch Wheel of Fortune.  Time how long it takes from when the show starts until there’s the true viewer benefit, Vanna reveals the first letter in the first puzzle.   Betcha it’s less than 30 seconds.  When the first letter shows, that’s when we’re playing along on the sofa.

Wheel used to follow the old format.  Pat and Vanna were introduced, they had some banter, Pat interviewed the three contestants, then they actually played the game.  But they realized those of us at home don’t care about any of that.  We want to play the puzzles.  They also used to shop when someone won a puzzle.  Remember those days of contestants “buying” washers and dryers and ceramic Dalmatians?  None of that mattered.  Because it was all about them and not us.

Ditto Jeopardy.  They play one-half of the first puzzle board right when the show starts.  When they come back from the first commercials and Ken Jennings interviews the three contestants, those of us at home don’t care about that either.  We show up to play along with the game.

We keep hearing about consumers’ shortening attention spans.  The three P’s of a break:  promotion (it’s all about me), process (here’s what we’re doing), and protein (time for content – the reason listeners show up).  Dispense with the first two P’s and get to the third.

To be honest, I’m already worried you’ve lost interest and it’s only been four short paragraphs.  So, I’ll sexy it up.  Time to talk about what I learned about radio from porn.

The porn industry dramatically changed years ago when they realized viewers cared less about plot and storylines.  They just want the action.  Porn clips online are rarely over three minutes (no idea why – ha, ha) and there’s no process or promotion.  Just…protein.

Don’t ask me why.  Read about it in the New York Times who profiled the change.  When we were young and found porn, few people sat through the scene of the pizza delivery guy ringing the doorbell, the woman in the negligee answering and saying she didn’t order any pizza, but inviting him in to deliver it anyway.  Everyone fast forwards to the bedroom scene.  The reason viewers showed up.

At a convention years ago, I used this analogy.  To the nervous laughter of the room, I reminded all to open the mic and “get to the fu@$ing.”  It’s a line that might live in infamy as it continues coming back to me.

Grab some breaks and see how long it takes before your talent start the actual content.  Then figure out how to get there sooner.  Your fans will reward you by staying longer.