Dig Deep, Be Original

If one of radio’s superpowers is connecting with the audience, let’s talk about how that grows over time.

Traditionally, we look at character development in a very linear fashion.  Steve’s married; Steve has dogs; Steve is an NC State fan.  For new shows, this is a safe place to start.  Minus a formed relationship with an audience, this gives you the broadest appeal to form a connection with listeners.  That’s where any of us would be if we met someone at a party.  “Do you think State will win ten football games this year,” is a great way to begin a conversation.

There are wonderful human connections in those stories.  Those give the audience an entry point to getting to know you.  That’s Character Development 101.

But true connection, a requirement as a show matures, requires much deeper levels of vulnerability.  As I talk with talent to nurture their relationships with fans, we focus on the F’s:  fears, failures, and flaws.  Those unpolished parts of your life – the things that did not go according to plan – make you human.  When you dig deep, you become more of an original.

The audience doesn’t want a flawless hero.  They want a real person.

Being vulnerable doesn’t mean turning every break into a therapy session, oversharing private details of your life, or manufacturing false drama.  It means having the courage to acknowledge how messy your life is so listeners can get to know you there, too.  Because that’s all of us.

My friend, Sam Milkman, who works for Coleman Insights, told me once of a talent he worked with who ended every break, “I’m Christian, and I have a lot of personal problems.”  That’s quite disarming and deepened the connection between him and his audience.

Polished can earn admiration.  Social media is an endless parade of perfection.  The perfect meal, the perfect outfit, the perfect social life.  It’s the persona those we follow want us to see.  Perfection creates distance, though.  Unpolished earns trust.

Failures, flaws, and fears (mistakes, embarrassments, regrets) have tension, uncertainty, lessons, humor, and humility.  Some tips as you go there:

• Share the lesson, not just the wound. A story about a mistake becomes valuable when it gives the audience something to recognize in themselves.
• Be specific in your storytelling. “I was nervous before that job interview” is fine.  “I sat in the parking lot for ten minutes before going into that meeting because I was convinced I didn’t belong there” is human.
• Don’t wait for the perfect ending. Life’s not perfect.  But do tell me what you learned about yourself from the experience.
• Let your flaws co-exist with your strengths. The confident personality can still admit insecurity.  The funny co-host can have a bad day.  The successful person can express doubt.
• Make room for imperfections in your content. When talent admit a misstep without pretending it didn’t happen, listeners get permission to be imperfect, too.

The goal is to become more recognizable to the audience.  Because the deeper a listener sees themselves in you, the more durable the connection becomes.

Give an F:  show your fears, failings, and flaws to the audience.  Besides the standard attributes, know your weaknesses, too.  Because the things we try the hardest to hide are often the very things that make us worth hearing.

In a world overflowing with image management, giving a F may be the most powerful way to stand out.