The Personal is Universal

My girlfriend is out of town on an extended business trip, and I have the place to myself.  She’s expecting me to keep the house clean.  So far, I’d get an F.

My neighbor borrowed my lawnmower two weeks ago and still hasn’t returned it.  I’m scared to ask him for it back.

I’m going on a vacation and on a limited budget.  The cheapest place I can find is a “sex hotel”.  I’m thinking about staying there but won’t do anything and I definitely won’t get naked.

My dog is really sick and so far, my wife and I have racked up $3900 in vet bills.

 

I talk much on these pages that a show’s goal is to Conquer Content and Create Connection.

What is connection, but proving to the audience that you are just like them?  Think of the people you’re close to in your personal life.  It all started by common bonds.  How to do that today?  Well, be honest in whatever you’re talking about.  And tell stories about yourself by being vulnerable and letting them in your world in ways that prove you are just like them!

There are some general guidelines to follow when deciding if a story you experience is worthy of the show.  Ask these questions, because not all experiences qualify:

  1. Is it an experience the average listener could find themselves in? Is there a fair shot they have had or could have a similar experience?  That’s called relatability.
  2. If not #1, is it an experience so extraordinary and intriguing the listener would be interested in hearing it?
  3. In both of the above, is there conflict or tension? We’re all addicted to drama and without it, you don’t have anything.
  4. Is there a powerful emotion associated with the story, so the audience feels it?

Check all the stories at the very top top.  They each satisfy #1 above:  I’m alone in the house and have to keep it clean for when my girlfriend returns from a trip; I am going on vacation without much money and might stay at a “sex hotel” because it’s cheap; my neighbor borrowed something and won’t give it back; my dog is sick and we have massive vet bills.  In each of these, the average listener could relate and you’re bonding with them because of those commonalities.

Where shows get in trouble, you get a disconnect because not every story has the same strategic benefit.  I recently saw a social media post of a talent talking about being on a corporate jet and spilling red wine on a white sofa.  Not very relatable or great use of content time as the audience says, “that’s not me.”

The other problem is when you have stories with no tension.  Because tension is what creates attention.

Follow these general guidelines as you aggregate personal experience content to be sure your strategic goal in creating connection is reached when making your choices on what stories to share with the audience.

Because the personal is universal.

Radio’s Forgotten Superpower (Hey NAB – Read This and Give Me a Call?)

Your fans are driving to work, listening to you, and having fun.  In the quiet, darker moments, what feeling might they be experiencing?  We hear much about a loneliness epidemic in society.  It impacts us all, whether we wish to openly acknowledge it or not.  Loneliness is a public health crisis and no longer a fringe issue.  In the quiet spaces of life – the commute, the cubicle, the kitchen at night, we all have pangs of feeling alone in this hyperconnected world.  These are the exact moments where personality radio excels.

Not to be nostalgic, but when I was a kid and found radio, I would often listen alone in my basement bedroom on Sherman Drive in Newburgh, NY.  As an insecure 15-year-old, I left every listening occasion feeling as though I was hearing my best friend on the radio.

One of my unaided goals for any talent is for the audience to leave saying, “They’re just like me.  I feel like I know them.”

Over the years, we’ve leveraged away advantages.  Some of that we did to ourselves:  we’re less local due to syndication, we’re less unpredictable due to the lawyers and corporate control, and we have ceded music images to music-only services like Spotify and Apple Music.  Some of that was done to us:  the algorithm and passive, endless scrolling.  Personalized feeds feel social but aren’t.  Spotify knows what you like but it really doesn’t know you.  It can’t laugh with you, it can’t root for you, and it can’t comfort you when life gets complicated and punches you in the gut.

One attribute we’ve never lost is our intimacy.  What I learned from my early mentors, that radio is just you and me, still holds.  Every one of us on-the-air has received a call from a listener who had a tragedy in their life, and we were what kept them company through it.

I’ve always wanted the NAB to adopt a new slogan that reinforces to listeners and advertisers this immense strength no other medium has.  I want that positioning statement to be Radio – We Make You Feel Less Lonely.

Not to turn this into a Steve therapy session, but all of us have varying degrees of loneliness in our life.  You or I might not admit that to anyone vocally, but deep down inside we do.  Despite how fast life moves and all these devices we’re addicted to, many of us have pangs of loneliness.  Concurrent, we also feel that, regardless of how hard we try at anything, no one is rooting for us.

I know, this is deeper than you’d expect from me this time.  But here’s where radio shines brightly and we need to lean into this if we’re going to stay relevant.  It’s a lesson on how to deepen the bond with listeners, turning them into fans.

Tackling loneliness as an ongoing community service project is powerful.  Acknowledging this, as I have done here with you, is deeply vulnerable.  I ask shows to talk about this, reinforcing that in a world where people don’t think anyone is there for them, especially during tough times, we are if we do radio right.  So, listeners leave knowing they have a friend, even if they’ve only been there for fifteen minutes.  Radio – We Make Listeners Feel Less Lonely.

Great radio is grounded in Conquering Content and Creating Connection.  There’s nothing more powerful than addressing and solving the loneliness problem each of us experience.  That’s connection.

I was captured by this short video shared by the morning talent I work with at 3FM, part of the National Public Radio System in the Netherlands.  A cast member was about to see a friend she’d not visited with in years.  She mused about how long it might be before they’d see each other again.  So, she wrote her a letter, bared her soul, and offered this private, very intimate moment for all the audience to hear.  As you watch, take note of her cast-mate’s faces.  They sit in awe.  You’ll view this and leave with the same thought I had – I feel like I know her, her values, and how she treats people.  And you’ll want a friend just like her in your life, too.  Radio here made their listeners feel less lonely.

It was neither polished nor “radio perfect”.  It was human.  And in that moment, the studio disappeared, like we were eavesdropping on something sacred.

Somewhere in that audience (somewhere in your audience), there’s a listener all alone, like I was when I found radio.  If we do radio right and dig deeper than trivia games and relationships-features, they won’t feel alone when any segment ends.  Just like I didn’t.

Let listeners know that, and you’ll change their life as they become less lonely.  You’ll change your life, too.  And be reminded why you fell in love with radio as a kid.

If radio is going to matter in the years ahead, it won’t be playing the right songs or having the right benchmarks.  It’ll be because we made someone feel seen, heard, and less alone.

What radio does so brilliantly when done right is make listeners feel less lonely.  Maybe radio isn’t in the music business any longer.  Maybe we’re in the companionship business.  You wanna win?  You want legacy stuff?  Make that job #1 and you will.

Our ability to be intimate with listeners is radio’s superpower.  And could be its next great future.

 

Steve Pet Peeves: Volume 4

Is Steve in an ornery mood today?  Geez, I don’t think so.  I just had coffee with him this morning and he seemed fine.  Let’s ask:  “Hey Steve, anything bugging you today?  And why the hell are you talking in the third person in the blog that you write?”

When you listen to as much personality radio as I do (minimum 6-8 shows a day!), something’s gonna bug you.  That’s why I have the award-winning series Steve Pet Peeves!  It gives me a chance to share some things I hear that create a less than enjoyable listening experience.

Nothing on this list will impact the number before the decimal point.  But do enough of them and it will alter the number after the decimal point.

Here’s Volume 4 (or Volume IV if Roman numerals makes it more official):

  1. Talent who forget that every day you have listeners who don’t know who you are. I’m a new listener tuning in and have no idea who’s who.  Don’t make me work for it.  Help me by telling me.
  2. Any talent posting online a picture of themselves signing a contract extension.  Please stop.  You’re saying to the audience, “I have job security and you don’t,” which is a bad look to connect with the regular people.  I collect these when I see them.  Maybe one day I’ll release them?!
  3. See #2 above – those who put next to the picture, “Well, you’re stuck with me for three more years!” Don’t be passive-aggressive.
  4. Over-explaining how a game works.  Instead of that, just play a short version of it for the audience amongst yourselves.  Doing that shows how it’s played and will grab the audience more.
  5. Spending the first two minutes explaining things to me before the actual content begins. All that process stuff is a tune out.  Because when we’re explainin’ we ain’t entertainin’.  I’m gonna trademark that line.
  6. The dreaded sports bet between shows. Your team is playing their team, so you make a bet with a show in that market.  Decades of doing this work and I have yet to see how any listener finds this entertaining (because it ain’t about them).
  7. When playing a game, asking the caller if they’re ready.  Yes, they’re ready.  They’re already on the phone and you should have prepped them to be ready before you played.
  8. Shows that go on and on about a cast member’s birthday. You know when it’s someone’s birthday in the office and they make you celebrate it?  You know how you feel?  You really don’t care, right?  The listeners feel that way, too, when you go on about yours.  Unless you have a great story with lots of drama.
  9. Talent who put the phrase “it’s your girl” or “it’s your boy” before they say their name. It’s your boy, Steve Reynolds!  Only DJs do that.
  10. Psychics.  Very 1985.  It doesn’t matter that your phones ring off the hook.  Let’s be better than 1985.

I am already working on Volume 5.  Got one?  Email me here.  If you missed previous versions, find Volume 1 here, Volume 2 here, and Volume 3 here.  I’m told once the list is complete, it’ll hang in the Smithsonian.

What Great Talent Want More than Anything Else

We’re at the end of another thrilling March Madness.  The elite survive and move on in the tournament.  I’m captured by something Duke’s iconic Coach K said while on the Pat McAfee Show:

“Greatness wants to be coached.”

He said this when asked what it was like to coach basketball’s elite:  Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James and others on the Olympic basketball team.  Pat wondered if he asked them to check their egos at the door.

Quite the contrary Coach K said.  Elite performers have an ego – it’s part of what motivates them.  He told them to bring their egos into the room as long as they could form one ego together that would drive the team.  We know the results.

Over the many years I’ve coached radio talent, there are many qualities that bind the radio elite I’ve been fortunate to work with.  They have egos, but their greatness wanted to be challenged.  That pushing and pulling and questioning of talented people, open to this feedback, helps get them to heights yet unknown.  Their greatness wanted coaching.

Two stories.

The wonderfully smart Dom Theodore called me on a Monday many years ago.  He was programming then CBS’s new Top 40 AMP in New York City.  He wanted me to come to town that Thursday to interview someone they were considering for mornings.  Someone who was out-of-the-box.  They were wondering if they were crazy considering this person.

I am normally leery working with celebrities outside of radio.  They tend to think their persona alone will drive their radio success.  Two hours after having a one-on-one chat with Nick Cannon, I told Dom they’d be dumb if they didn’t hire him.  I was captured by Nick’s aura and passion for radio and told him I would need direct contact with him if this was gonna work.  He really had no idea how to do radio.  While I respected the room (cohosts and producers), the show would rise and fall with Nick’s decisions.  He gave me his cell.  When I got to Laguardia, I texted him and got a reply in thirty seconds.  A good sign.  That’s how it went with Nick.

Nick made every meeting, even if it meant taking the red eye from Los Angeles.  He called to ask questions and for advice.  He thought about radio all the time and worked to learn how we do this.  Despite the station not succeeding (because of a little thing called Z100), I adored Nick.  His greatness wanted coaching.

Ditto Ebro Darden at HOT 97 in New York.  I was taken by this incredible article done on him in Barrett Media last week.  Ebro’s no longer on terrestrial radio.  But look at how he’s elevated.  Ebro, as you would imagine, is no wallflower.  We’d sit in meetings and challenge each other.  Never raised voices, but convictions on both sides.  All I had to do was access the New Yorker in me.  Maybe he didn’t like it in the moment (maybe he did?), but there was always a mutual respect.  Ebro is where he is now because his greatness wanted coaching (from me in small part and I am sure many others in his career).

If you only want to be coached on your terms, you don’t want greatness.  You want comfort.

Ebro and Nick (and the many other great talent I’ve worked with) have convictions and a vision for their shows.  They also crave the conversation to improve.  They want someone to challenge them and hold them accountable.  None of that scares them.

The core attributes of those who get to greatness (you must have all three):  Aptitude (their talent), Attitude (we embrace growth positively), and Work Ethic (we out-work everyone else).  There’s much in radio we don’t control.  But these items noted here, the through thread of excellence, are choices in our control.

Radio is dying?  Not if we have personalities with greatness who want to be coached.  Those folks thrive regardless of the environment.

💣 But The Phones Blow Up When We Do That… 💣

Why It Matters:  because doing same old, same old and allowing the phone lines or social media reaction to guide your content strategy are coin flips.

The week of November 3, 2025 was a particularly tough one at the intergalactic headquarters of The Reynolds Group and for your old pal Steve Reynolds aka the Top Ten Talent Coach®.

I spot checked two different shows that week and something so horrific happened on both that it took multiple therapy sessions and some gummies to deal with.  Only now can I talk about it.

I tuned in and both shows had on psychics.  Cue the thunderclap.

Hype and hyperbole aside, I did bristle at the content choice and imagined what both would say when I asked why.  As a former morning guy, I tend to know the excuses before I hear them.  I was well-versed in using all of them to justify a content choice that was both bad and non-strategic.

Here’s what they’d say: “but the phones blow up every time we do that.”  As if the phones were an affirmation of a smart decision.  They might be right.  But they could also be wrong.

I wanna make two points:

  • It scares me to make content decisions based on direct feedback from what you get on the phones, when listeners talk with you, or what you see on social media. Not that those people are wrong for themselves, but it’s dangerous to extrapolate what a few people say and believe it’s correct for all.  Four blinking phone lines means that those four people are reacting to what you’re doing.  Without research, there’s no idea what everyone else thinks (test recall and perceptions and you’ll know much more than what blinking phone lines or social media likes/posts say).  If listeners tell you how wonderful you are, that’s their truth.  But remember, no listener will ever reach out to say the opposite.  It’s easy to be romanced into thinking that that’s how everyone feels.  But, emotions (good or bad) are never a smart way to decide about content for your show.  Tens of thousands are listening at any given moment.  That five said something is noise in the grand scheme of things.  The question I’d ask both shows above is this:  how did having on a psychic fit our content strategy?  If that can be answered satisfactorily, then let’s do it.  If it can’t, then we shouldn’t.
  • The specific issue I have with psychics is that it isn’t a modern content choice. It’s quite old school and might say to the audience – we do this because we’ve done this and that should be good enough for you.

One show I work with decided to pull the old standard War of the Roses last year.  It got us our best streaming downloads and tune ins, but the show lost favor with it and, in a reassessment of our content strategy, we believed it no longer fit where the listeners are in life.  In a world with lots of arguing and deception, they and the show’s hosts hearing about cheating couples no longer was right.

That’s not to say drama doesn’t work.  We just had to update doing dramatic things, but no longer through this feature.  I’m not advocating taking this feature off if you do it, just sharing the conversation I had with this show about its fans.

We pulled the feature (everything went online and on demand for those who like it) and came up with new (modern) ideas to get stuff like that on the air.

Some talent reading this will wanna defend psychics.  I’ll make it easy.  Email me here to make your case and let’s have that spirited conversation.  But we need to be more strategic and inventive to get to our win, given the vast number of choices listeners have for content and connection.

Let me leave you with this great quote from Harry Styles on Howard Stern on the best advice he ever got in his career (clip here).  Harry said:

“I think one of my favorite things a friend once told me is remember that everything that people say about you isn’t true.   Whether they say that you are horrific, it’s not true.  And if they tell you that you’re the best thing ever, it’s not true.”

Certainly, accept those comments.  That’s the truth of the person sharing it.  But…your plot and content strategy beat all of that.  Can you honestly and dispassionately connect the dots between whatever you decide to do on your show and that?

In a world with lots of noise all around us all the time, choose well and smart.  And ignore the feedback you get from those blinking lights and social media posts.  It’s always dangerous to decide only from those.

🔥Twelve Ways a Radio Show Quietly Sets Itself on Fire🔥

I cover in Planet Reynolds the strategic chess moves personality shows must make to win images, audience loyalty, and ratings.  But let’s flip that board.

Here are twelve ways a tenured show can slowly get itself into trouble.  This won’t happen overnight.  A dramatic ratings collapse won’t happen.  But inch-by-inch violate enough of these, and you’ll be coasting.  Because smart competitors love strategic confusion, you’ll also be quietly building a launchpad for one of them to steal your audience.

Time for an unapologetic inventory:

  1. Neither the show nor the cast hold a distinct point-of-view. Great shows stand for something.  Winning personality radio ain’t wallpaper.  It’s opinionated, it leans, it chooses.  A show or cast without a point-of-view becomes audio oatmeal – emotionally forgettable.  Listeners bond with conviction.
  2. There is poor role and character definition. If everyone is everything, no one is anything.  Sharp shows have a defined cast.  Think Howard Stern.  He’s the gravitational center.  Robin is the counterbalance.  The supporting cast fills in the blanks.  No roles on that show are blurred.  Whether a large ensemble or just two people, if you can’t share your real life and defend your angle honestly, you become an actor in a play no one wants to see.
  3. The show fails to capture the moment for content choices for the demo. Great shows seize cultural lightening.  They know what the audience is talking about today, not last week.  They then stamp it with their own personality.  They don’t wait for a prep service to tell them what mattered yesterday – they are always on the right edge of what’s happening now.  Relevance has a half-life.  Miss it and you’re left doing something that might have expired.
  4. The show loses touch with its constituency. Your audience is a tribe and you’re in it.  Listeners can easily forgive an idea that doesn’t work, but they won’t forgive feeling unseen.  Make them always say, “we get you.”
  5. The show does not innovate. Success has a seductive lullaby.  The ratings are fine, TSL is steady, the cume isn’t eroding.  So, you end up doing what you did five years ago.  Yikes.  Audiences evolve, attention fragments, and you don’t operate in a vacuum.  Innovation means sharpening your show.  Adding new segments and ideas bats back stagnation.
  6. C-level ideas turn P1s into P2s (or don’t turn P2s into P1s). This is death by mediocrity.  Bland, C-level ideas, never inspire.  They just go unnoticed.  Create appointment listening by not doing things that end up being background noise.
  7. The show becomes unfunny or un-fun. Don’t let your show leak its joy.  Listeners tune in to escape the seriousness of life, companionship, and to be around something that wakes them up.  Laughter and fun are the one thing that binds every psychographic in your audience.
  8. There is no “cume urgency” in what they’re doing. Why should the audience tune in right now?  If there is no reason to show up in this quarter hour, you’re training the audience to go elsewhere.  You must have “don’t miss this” built into your show.  If the show lends the vibe of “safely later”, it will be consumed later.  Or never if that’s what is found elsewhere.
  9. There is a loss of motivation and work ethic. Tenure, for some, can breed entitlement.  Prep shrinks, risk-taking fades, and meetings become shorter.  “We’ve arrived so no additional work is necessary” becomes the mantra.  The audience knows if you’ve prepped for them.  They can also hear autopilot.  I love when I’m across the street against this with a truly hungry show.  Comfortable = vulnerable.
  10. Egocentricity.  Don’t become obsessed with yourself, believing you’re the sun to the audience’s universe.  The audience must always be central to what you do.  Flip that equation and they will slowly check out.
  11. The program becomes predictable. Routine builds familiarity.  But predictability breeds boredom.  Don’t let tension disappear by being so predictable that there are no surprises in the show.  For all its faults, even SNL is constantly refreshing the cast, its angles, new segments and characters, and fresh executions.  Predictability is comfortable.  But comfort is not a growth strategy.
  12. They are not involved in the community. When you and your show are absent from community events and grassroots touchpoints, you weaken the emotional connection you built.  Make your presence be known by being everywhere.  Embed yourself into your city, even if you’re syndicated.  That will pay off with more content, more connections, and allow you to present more humanity to your audience.

Time to take an assessment.  You won’t necessarily lose an audience for violating one of these.  Or even three.  But every unchecked weakness opens a door.  Be soft without realizing it and a strategic competitor could eventually rise up.

So, take an inventory.  Or better, have your show do it and, if you’re a program director you do it, too.  I’ve created a grade sheet here if it helps.  Then compare notes for an honest conversation about the show so you stay sharp.

Because sharpness isn’t by accident.  It’s by disciple.

Whoopi Walked In and the Audience Walked Out: Why Fame Isn’t the Same as Fit

WKTU, New York just celebrated a milestone 30th birthday in the format.  You may not remember, but part of that history included having Whoopi Goldberg as its morning host.  When I listened back then, it was one of the most confusing radio shows I’d ever heard.  As fate would have it, I met Jim Ryan, who put Whoopi on the brand.  I mentioned I never understood the show, which did not work.  Over the years, Jim and I have talked about this.  I turn Planet Reynolds over to him this week for this excellent analysis explaining why and what’s to learn from that.  This article first appeared in the terrific Barrett Media.  I found it incredibly interesting, so I asked Jim to share it here, too.

What’s your brand?

Very often, the best lessons come from situations that didn’t work out as planned. Twenty years ago, while I was at Clear Channel (now iHeart), we believed talent was the key to making radio a meaningful companion. At the time, Elvis Duran was dominating in New York and expanding into other markets, while Delilah was a staple on our AC stations. Sean Compton, who was handling talent acquisition, wanted a household name for female-targeted morning radio. The decision was made to sign Whoopi Goldberg.

We launched the show with great fanfare across major affiliates like New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. Whoopi was a rare EGOT (Emmy-Grammy-Oscar-Tony) winner; it seemed logical that an award-winning household name would be a hit in morning drive.

However, a disconnect emerged. While Whoopi had a storied career, including her acclaimed role in The Color Purple, much of the radio audience expected to wake up with the comedian they loved in Sister Act. Her vision for the show was more aligned with what she does today on The View. Sitting in the studio most mornings, I saw firsthand the audience wasn’t expecting that direction. Despite the great interviews and funny moments, the show struggled. We learned that in a nine-minute listening occasion, you must be true to your brand. The constant listener calls referencing Sister Act were a reminder that while Whoopi was incredibly talented, that alone wasn’t enough to deliver the expected ratings success.

Regardless of the show you produce, you must ask: “What is the listener’s expectation?” and “What is my brand?” Just as you wouldn’t expect Stephen A. Smith to host love songs or Delilah to act like a shock jock, every successful personality has a defined brand that sets a clear expectation for the audience.

What is your brand? What is the basic plot of your show? If you are part of an ensemble, what is your specific role? Once you answer these, you must run all content through that filter. If you are a “funny” or “feel-good” show, certain topics like politics might be off the table. Conversely, shows like The Breakfast Club thrive on strong opinions. Another example was Mike and the Mad Dog who launched WFAN as the first sports station in America; the show’s success relied on the specific conflict between Mike and Chris. They knew their roles and fulfilled listener expectations every day. Howard Stern, once a “shock jock”, has enhanced his brand to become one of the greatest interviewers in media today. But he uses that brand to be able to ask the questions that nobody else dares to. And gets away with it.

I have worked with many shows where the personalities are unsure of their roles or their on-air relationships. In successful long-running television shows, the audience knows exactly how each character will react. From I Love Lucy to Seinfeld to Everybody Loves Raymond, character friction drives the content.

If you are part of an ensemble or overseeing one, take a minute to ensure each character is clearly defined. Over time, co-hosts can adopt similar mannerisms or opinions, and a re-evaluation becomes necessary. If the friction between characters disappears, so does the drama and the show becomes boring. Long-running shows like Elvis Duran, Dave Ryan, and Mojo have successfully changed co-hosts to stay relevant. The late Kidd Kraddick was so obsessed with show evolution that his program has remained at the top of the ratings for years even after his passing.

Radio shows are only on the air for 20 hours a week, but a strong brand stays with listeners long after they tune out. People think about Howard Stern, Charlamagne tha God, Delilah, and Elvis Duran well beyond their broadcast times.

So, what’s your brand?

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The Power of Paying Attention – Steve’s Grocery Store Screw-Up Just to Write This Blog

Last week, I was sent to the grocery store.  My partner is the cook in our relationship, and he directed me to get peeled tomatoes for a recipe.  I dutifully drove to the Harris Teeter and found them in aisle five.  Ah, success!  But then dread and dark clouds hovered over.  Did he want the tomatoes with basil?  The ones with oregano and garlic?  Plain?  The ones already chopped or whole?  Did he want the Hunts or Contadina brand, or could I buy the less expensive Harris Teeter brand, which was on sale?

So many decisions.  I froze in fear of choosing incorrectly, as I have often done, arriving home and again getting “the look” that “you got the wrong ones.”  So, I did the smart thing and FaceTimed him for the right answers.  I didn’t feel so bad because when I was heading to the checkout, another guy was holding his phone up to a Teeter employee and said, “My wife wants me to buy these.  Can you bring me to them.”  Ah, another spouse anticipating that he’ll get the wrong thing, too.

I have a disease called Permanent Content Brain.  The phrase was coined by podcaster Pablo Torre who admits, as do I, that everything I see I wonder how it can be content on a show.  I am reminded of talent who go about their lives and never see the power of this kinda stuff to help them be relatable or use it to create fun stories the audience identifies with.  So many say “nothing happened to me yesterday” yet when I dig deep and get inquisitive, so much content appears.  They didn’t see it because they weren’t paying attention.

So, I wonder how we get more of these shared experiences on a show to connect with fans.  Here are a few things to consider:

  • Stop looking for a story and notice the friction in everything you do. It wasn’t about my going to the grocery store as much as it was about fearing “the look” and bold move to FaceTime so it wasn’t another Epic Steve Fail®.  Where you get uncomfortable, irritated, or feel awkward is the story.  Great radio doesn’t come from what happened, it comes from what felt off.
  • Pick a side and use bold language. Mushy middle breaks or ones that express all points-of-view die quickly.  Fake opinion for neutrality is death, too.  Great radio lives on the margins.  Hate/love are much better than like.  Powerful verbiage activates listeners.  Examples: “self-checkout is a scam,” or “if you’re paying for groceries with a check, you must be over 80,” or “the cart return thing is really a character test some people fail.”  It’s near impossible for a listener to not have an emotional reaction to any of those frames.  Using language like this includes the audience from the start.
  • Get to it with a powerful hook at the start. “I had to FaceTime my partner from the canned tomato aisle, so I didn’t come home feeling like an idiot again” is a great way to make listeners lean in to hear the story.
  • You must pivot from it being about you to being about the audience. Do that and you’ll get similar content from them which will be entertaining for all to hear.  Actively think of this line, “Is it just me or…” and you might have a content break.  The mistake many make is that it’s just about them – make it about the audience and the connection forms as stories from everyone appear.
  • When asking the audience to advance your content with their stories, never ask “what do you think” or “has this happened to you”. Be specific: “your spouse sent you to the grocery store and you were once again a disappointment in the task – tell us what happened.”  Specific questions get better calls and listener engagement.  Never ask yes/no or agree/disagree questions.  If your reply to them is “why” or “tell us more” you’ll go on a fishing expedition for their content and get little.  Be specific and they’ll have stories with lots of details.

If you can do everyday things like go to the grocery store and pay attention to see the friction, get an opinion, and look for relatability, you’re guaranteed to leave with content.

The next time you go somewhere, don’t rush or do it mindlessly.  Pay attention and note three things that annoy you, give you judgment on something, force an opinion, or make you experience an emotion yourself.  One of them might be content the next day.

Then you’ll never say again that “nothing happened today”.

You must notice everything to develop Permanent Content Brain.  A great disease to have if you are a content creator.  I put together a checklist to train your brain to get there.  Grab it here if you think it’ll help.

Friction Hooks Fans – A Better Way to Build Character Connections (Heated Rivalry Edition)

You’ll come for the sex; you’ll stay for the story.

Heated Rivalry is the “it” show now – lots of buzz.  It’s on everyone’s timeline and seemingly inescapable in conversation.  Why is it resonating and what’s to learn from that?

Heated Rivalry does the one thing at its core every show must do to shift people from being listeners to becoming fans:  they make us care about the characters.  Think of any show or movie that moved you – that connected with you that you still rave about – and note that the screenwriter and story made you care about the people in it.  Think of who you hang with in your personal life; those you know and those you care about.  You must do the same with your show to create that loyalty with listeners.

Heated Rivalry works because conflict is the engine.  The characters are rich and deep and human and flawed and very different from each other.  That contrast creates a powerful storyline.

Here’s proof that conflict is the oxygen of storytelling.  Heated Rivalry doesn’t succeed because everything goes right. It succeeds because almost nothing does.  The story draws us in because there’s lots of drama.  If your story is boring, it’s because drama doesn’t exist.

At its core, Heated Rivalry is built on opposition. Two very different elite competitors locked in a long-term clash where winning isn’t just about the scoreboard.  It’s about pride, identity, ego, and the quiet fear of being seen as less than the other.  That tension never fully resolves, and that’s the point. Resolution ends the story.  Friction keeps it breathing.

The show’s most effective tension point is the collision between public personas and private truth. On the surface, these characters are confident, dominant, and unyielding. Underneath, they’re insecure, guarded, and hungry for validation and connection. One is Russian, the other Canadian – and the stereotypes that come with each.  Every scene’s bravado cracks just a little which pulls us closer to the characters and storyline. We recognize that feeling because we live there, too.

Another smart pressure point is proximity without permission. The characters are forced together by circumstance. Same arenas. Same headlines. Same orbit. They don’t choose connection; it keeps choosing them. That creates emotional whiplash: attraction colliding with resentment, admiration tangled with jealousy. Viewers aren’t watching to see if something will happen, but how long they can resist it and what it will cost them when they stop.

Sometimes the tension is big – Shane’s been texting Ilya for six months and been ghosted.  The anger and hurt feelings are both relatable and palatable.  And sometimes it’s small – Shane introduces himself to Ilya at the top of episode one.  They’re two premiere athletes and one of them is secretly smoking cigarettes.

Emotionally, the show plays a rich chord progression.  Competition lights the spark, anger sharpens it, vulnerability deepens it, and fear threatens to extinguish it.

We care because the stakes are high – we root for Ilya and Shane because we want people to root for us. That’s why vulnerability is so powerful in life and radio – we want the audience to care and root for us, too – and they want to know that we care for and root for them.  You must do that with your content to win.  Because if your content is friction free – if it has no drama – you ain’t got nothing.

Heated Rivalry understands something many shows miss:  likability is optional, but emotional honesty is not. The characters are often difficult. They make selfish choices. They hurt each other. Yet the show earns our loyalty by letting us see why.  We’re not asked to excuse their behavior, only to understand it.

Conflict creates curiosity.  Tension creates attachment.  Emotion creates memory.

That’s the lesson Heated Rivalry teaches. Storylines don’t become compelling by smoothing edges. They become compelling by pressing on them and refusing to let go.

And that’s what keeps us watching.

The success of Heated Rivalry should teach us lessons.  What should be our takeaways if we believe in the power of radio talent to make a difference?

Radio talent often believe the goal is to be agreeable, upbeat, and without friction – liked by all.  But the show proves the opposite.  Audiences don’t bond with perfection.  They bond with flaws and pressure.

Lesson One: Find the Tension in Everything and Let It Breathe

In Heated Rivalry, the characters don’t rush to tidy conclusions. They sit in discomfort. They argue. They hesitate. They contradict themselves. That’s what makes them human.

For radio, this means that the messy wins.  Try to position yourself as perfect or unflawed and you’ll lose.  My friend Lori Lewis says, “unpolished is the new polished.”  She’s right.  If you’re wrestling with a decision, a frustration, or a change, let the audience hear the wrestle. Unfinished emotions create forward motion. Forward motion keeps people listening.  No tension/conflict/drama/friction = no memorable story.

Lesson Two: Stakes Make Stories Sticky

Every conflict in the show costs something. Reputation. Identity. Trust. That’s why it matters.

On the air, stories without stakes sound like anecdotes. Stories with stakes sound like life. When you tell a story, ask yourself: What did I risk? What could I lose? What changed because of this? If nothing was on the line, the audience won’t lean in.

Lesson Three: Vulnerability Beats Likability

The leads in Heated Rivalry aren’t always likable, but they are emotionally honest. That’s the trade.

Radio personalities often chase approval when they should chase truth. Saying “I didn’t handle that well” or “I’m not proud of this reaction” or “I don’t understand that” builds more trust than trying to sound polished. Vulnerability is the shortcut to credibility.

Lesson Four: Conflict Doesn’t Mean Chaos or Arguing

The show’s tension is controlled. Purposeful. Directed.

On the air, conflict doesn’t mean yelling or controversy for its own sake. It means contrast. Opinions that collide. Expectations that aren’t met. Internal debates spoken out loud. That kind of friction creates texture without alienation.

Heated Rivalry reminds us that connection isn’t built by being smooth. It’s built by being real under pressure.

If you want listeners to care about you, let them hear what you care about enough to struggle with.  That’s where the bond forms.

Ilya, Shane, Scott, and Kip’s characters are grounded in tenderness, struggle, and betrayal and you want what’s best for them, because you want what’s best for you.  So does the audience.  So connect there.

By all means enjoy the steamy sex in the first few episodes of Heated Rivlary.  That’s the show’s hook.  But at the end of episode six, know that you stayed for much different reasons.  Then see what you learn from that to deepen and grow the bond you have with your fans by how you do your content.

No One Gets Better Alone

If you’re a friend you know that in the winter months, my sport is basketball.  Especially college ball, given I live in the same market as NC State, Duke, and UNC-Chapel Hill.

Years ago, when my father came to terms that his eldest son would never play sports, he suggested that I officiate my uncle’s team’s basketball scrimmages.  That was appealing to an insecure 15-year old because I was told I’d have a whistle and the other kids had to listen to me.  I caught the referee bug so, for the last three decades, I’ve officiated high school basketball as a side hustle.

Many years in, I wondered why I never got the brass ring:  an invitation to call a state championship.  After all, I’d done my time and thought I was pretty good.  When was it my turn?  And why did I keep hearing about others getting that accolade, but not me?  Voicing this to a fellow official, he wondered out loud if I was mature enough to get an honest answer.  Expecting him to simply affirm my perspective, I was trapped and had to say yes.  He recorded me at several games and then showed me the video (an aircheck, if you will).  Who was that overweight guy running up and down the court, I wondered?  Who’s that guy out of position on his calls?  It was me, and I had lots of work to do to get better, if my goal of a state championship was to be realized.

In the many years since, and reflecting on the work I now do in radio, one thing has become apparent – no one gets better alone.

Everyone says they want to improve.  Very few are willing to do the two things improvement requires.

First, you must look inward.  Not casually.  Not defensively.  But honestly.

That means admitting there are parts of your craft that are average, habits that are comfortable, and blind spots you can’t see on your own. Self-awareness is the starting point, but it’s not enough.

Real improvement happens when you invite a small, trusted circle into your process—people who care more about your growth than your feelings.  Not cheerleaders.  Not critics with an agenda.  Professionals who can give you unbiased, dispassionate feedback.

These are the people who will tell you:  “That works… but it could work better.”  “You’re leaning on the same moves again.”  “You’re good—but you’re capable of more.”

That kind of feedback stings a little.  It should.  Growth usually does.

The mistake most people make is crowdsourcing opinions or avoiding feedback altogether.  Both are comfort plays.  Neither leads to mastery.

If you’re serious about improving, build your small circle.  Listen without defending.  Apply what fits.  Discard what doesn’t.  Repeat and get better.

Progress isn’t about talent.  It’s about humility, trust, and the courage to let others sharpen you.

I belong to lots of referee Facebook groups and am always learning when I watch a posted video or they engage their followers in a philosophical conversation.  Paul Diasparra, an official who runs one of them, recently said this.  I’ve changed the parts about officials, so it resonates with you:

“If there’s one message you take into your future, let it be this:  getting no feedback is the anchor that slows your growth. Too many of us spend time looking sideways, comparing ourselves to peers, measuring progress against others, wondering why someone else moved up faster or got an opportunity sooner. Others spend time looking upward, too focused on talent who are where they wanna be. They compare timelines, they compare paths, and it often breeds insecurity, doubt, and the feeling of being left behind. And then there’s looking downward when you’re comparing yourself.  Maybe comparing yourself to someone who’s earlier on their journey. That doesn’t lead to growth either because it creates a false sense of confidence, feeds the ego, and distracts from the work that’s still required. None of those directions help you improve. The direction that matters most is looking inward. Your career is your story, your pace, your lessons, your setbacks, your breakthroughs. None of it is meant to look like anyone else’s. So, when you focus inward on your preparation, your habits, your mindset, and your effort, that’s where the real growth begins.”

If we’re going to stay relevant as an industry, we all know the power of talent.  But we have a smaller margin for error than we once did because of the amount of competition for the attention of listeners.

If you don’t have anyone you trust or can lean on to help you with this, holler at me and I’ll be on your team.  I want nothing for it except that you pay it forward to others in our industry so they can improve, too.

Because no one gets better alone.